Roads to Safe Places

I had to take a break from the internet because reading blogs became just too time-consuming, so if I commented even less than usual it was not because I don't care, but because I am working on my big, scary thesis. It's going ok - but I am scared out of my mind that I won't finish it, that it won't be any good. I have about a third in rough draft and the remaining two thirds in notes, which is probably good, but I am not fast enough. I wanted to have half of it down by now, but both the chapter on events and the chapter on performativity are giving me more pain than I thought they would. Can't wait to start with the actual work on the texts properly, though, the looking forward to doing that is what keeps me going right now.

The fact that Crocky had to have her wisdom teeth pulled last Thursday (no complications, three days of pain and swelling with painkillers and cool packs, stitches come out tomorrow, barely any pain anymore, no swelling - after all the horror stories we heard in the weeks before about people who had all four teeth taken out at once, I am so, so happy for her and relieved that things went well, you can't believe it) meant some experiments with all kinds of food that doesn't have to be chewed, and, seeing as milk is bad for the healing process according to the doctor, experiments with the dreaded soy and rice milk. Dreaded because it clots in coffee, and because I only ever used it in baking so far, so I wasn't sure how it would react in non-baked goods.

Things we tried:

• Prior to the operation: English muffins, without sugar. Very tasty, albeit a bit bland. I think I might have to use more salt.
• Mashed potatoes and broccoli: did not work as well for me as it did for Crocky because the soy milk we bought had added sugar, which made the mush taste slightly sweet, which made me vaguely nauseuos. Crocky liked it, though, and that was the most important thing. Potato mash with mashed cauliflower and grated cheese was also very tasty, as was potato mash with peas.
• Oatmeal gruel with puréd banana: very recommendable. We've had oatmeal for breakfast on most days since and it's always tasty, although you can't beat oatmeal with banana or strawberry. It definitely tasted slightly weird with nectarines, some things were never meant to be cooked, apparently.
• Soy milk with puréd kiwi and banana: we had to stock up on kiwis because of this one. SO tasty. Also great with buttermilk post-healing and for non-vegans.
• Guacamole with a little soy milk, albeit without any lime juice due to allergies. Very tasty and great with crackers and soft white bread post-healing.

I'm also going to try cooking pudding with soy milk and look up more things to do with our shiny new hand blender. If anyone has any ideas, I'd be grateful.

Other than that, I've mostly been reading for the big, scary thesis and playing the trumpet. Which is still a lot of fun, and I'm playing about three times a week now, and I like the way it's going. The sounds that come out of my instrument sound a lot better than they did in the beginning, and I am gathering confidence to join Crocky's ensemble after Pentecost.

Now I only have to get my act together and work harder than I have done so far. And stop being scared.