Watching TV - there must be a trick that I'm missing
Saturday, April 3rd, 2010 03:34 pmHow do you guys watch TV?
This is a serious question. Ever since I got sick I rediscovered watching TV in an attempt to brighten my mood. Turns out it's not as effortless as I thought it was, because pretending that things never happened to keep my mood from plummeting isn't effortless, relaxed entertainment.
It used to be easy before I got sick - turn on TV, forget I am a gay woman and that I actually care about people, go.
Now, not only can I not forget I'm a gay woman, I'm also no longer able to appreciate cynicism because again, it hurts my mood. And I like being in a good mood. I only started watching TV again because it requires comparatively less effort than reading and since my expectations of TV are so low that I'm not as easily disappointed or hurt by issues relating to LGBT people/gender/race, bad characters, bad writing, historical inaccuracies, you name it.
Still, even given my really low expectations, it's getting harder and harder to watch TV without needing to make a conscious effort to pretend that what you just saw did not happen and force your mind to black out whatever comedy or sitcom just drove home that people like me deserve to die/be raped/be tortured/be in pain because that's funny.
Is there a trick to this that I'm missing? If you watch TV, I'd like to know what your methods are, and I'd also be really grateful for recommendations for funny series.
This is a serious question. Ever since I got sick I rediscovered watching TV in an attempt to brighten my mood. Turns out it's not as effortless as I thought it was, because pretending that things never happened to keep my mood from plummeting isn't effortless, relaxed entertainment.
It used to be easy before I got sick - turn on TV, forget I am a gay woman and that I actually care about people, go.
Now, not only can I not forget I'm a gay woman, I'm also no longer able to appreciate cynicism because again, it hurts my mood. And I like being in a good mood. I only started watching TV again because it requires comparatively less effort than reading and since my expectations of TV are so low that I'm not as easily disappointed or hurt by issues relating to LGBT people/gender/race, bad characters, bad writing, historical inaccuracies, you name it.
Still, even given my really low expectations, it's getting harder and harder to watch TV without needing to make a conscious effort to pretend that what you just saw did not happen and force your mind to black out whatever comedy or sitcom just drove home that people like me deserve to die/be raped/be tortured/be in pain because that's funny.
Is there a trick to this that I'm missing? If you watch TV, I'd like to know what your methods are, and I'd also be really grateful for recommendations for funny series.
I am a bitter Fantasy fan.
Saturday, December 26th, 2009 01:07 pmI have been reading Fantasy written by English and American authors ever since I was fourteen. It is my favourite genre, and most of my favourite books are Fantasy books. This genre was my cure for sadness, loneliness, and boredom ever since I discovered it. And even though I love that genre and spend quite an amount of time defending its literary merits, most of the writers who do write Fantasy suck at the same thing, keep on sucking and make pots of money while doing so. Especially male writers are, when it comes to their few female characters, by and large, lazy, unapologetic morons uninterested in any kind of realism.
The only male Fantasy writers I can think of who manages believable female characters are Gregory Maguire and Terry Pratchett (and I'm grateful if any of you can point me towards others who manage to not fail). It never ceases to amaze me that it would be so bloody hard to write about human beings that, given that they easily comprise fifty percent of the population, one is certain to have interacted with at some point. Both do have strong female characters that are strong on their own terms without necessarily being eye-candy or supporters of male characters only. What is more depressing is that many female writers copy those parts of the genre that are hell-bent on turning female characters into brainless, decorative, supportive tokens (Anne McCaffrey ARFFF).
Even readers with a background in feminism seem so depressingly easily pleased and make a point of noting that there are female characters who are not decoration as soon as they are there at all. As long as these characters exist, as long as they do anything at all, writers get kudos for including "strong female characters". I think that term has been used so often it has been rendered meaningless. If they do feature "strong female characters", one or two strong female characters that are included for whatever reason are really not enough to tip the balance for the rest of the book. If, throughout the story, female characters are treated as decoration, pieces of flesh or house elves, even the most bad-ass female will not rectify the fail when it comes to the other characters (looking at you again, Anne McCaffrey).
And fandom, which in many cases easily offers a break from canon fails due to the creativeness of readers, is no help here. Judging by a rough look at numbers of fanfiction submissions by pairing especially with regards to Harry Potter, most female readers don't seem to care as long as there are ~* hawt *~ male characters they can write trivial, character-exploring fanfiction about that centres on one taking care of the emotional and sexual needs of the other. Only about male characters, mind, because "the female characters in that fandom are so uninteresting". A baffling excuse, given the creative self-confidence of fandom - fandoms that manage to write novel-length stories about characters that never spoke more than three sentences together in a novel ought not to have a problem with that and welcome the challenge.
But apparently, characters tainted by femaleness are not worth writing or thinking about, because there are no interesting stories to tell about women that aren't about the fact that they are women in a male world, and because fetishizing male-on-male interaction is just "more interesting"/"my personal preference".
The only male Fantasy writers I can think of who manages believable female characters are Gregory Maguire and Terry Pratchett (and I'm grateful if any of you can point me towards others who manage to not fail). It never ceases to amaze me that it would be so bloody hard to write about human beings that, given that they easily comprise fifty percent of the population, one is certain to have interacted with at some point. Both do have strong female characters that are strong on their own terms without necessarily being eye-candy or supporters of male characters only. What is more depressing is that many female writers copy those parts of the genre that are hell-bent on turning female characters into brainless, decorative, supportive tokens (Anne McCaffrey ARFFF).
Even readers with a background in feminism seem so depressingly easily pleased and make a point of noting that there are female characters who are not decoration as soon as they are there at all. As long as these characters exist, as long as they do anything at all, writers get kudos for including "strong female characters". I think that term has been used so often it has been rendered meaningless. If they do feature "strong female characters", one or two strong female characters that are included for whatever reason are really not enough to tip the balance for the rest of the book. If, throughout the story, female characters are treated as decoration, pieces of flesh or house elves, even the most bad-ass female will not rectify the fail when it comes to the other characters (looking at you again, Anne McCaffrey).
And fandom, which in many cases easily offers a break from canon fails due to the creativeness of readers, is no help here. Judging by a rough look at numbers of fanfiction submissions by pairing especially with regards to Harry Potter, most female readers don't seem to care as long as there are ~* hawt *~ male characters they can write trivial, character-exploring fanfiction about that centres on one taking care of the emotional and sexual needs of the other. Only about male characters, mind, because "the female characters in that fandom are so uninteresting". A baffling excuse, given the creative self-confidence of fandom - fandoms that manage to write novel-length stories about characters that never spoke more than three sentences together in a novel ought not to have a problem with that and welcome the challenge.
But apparently, characters tainted by femaleness are not worth writing or thinking about, because there are no interesting stories to tell about women that aren't about the fact that they are women in a male world, and because fetishizing male-on-male interaction is just "more interesting"/"my personal preference".
Guns and moons
Thursday, March 12th, 2009 09:13 pmYesterday evening I discovered that the full moon was reflected in our skylight in a way that, to my delight, made it look as though we had four moons. I did not manage to take proper pictures of it, but it looked pretty awesome. Ever since I went to the planetarium with my mother for the first time and heard about the amount of natural satellites in our solar system I regretted that we have only one (hey, Saturn has over fifty, Jupiter over sixty, even Mars managed to catch himself two, but out loser planet sticks with one).

( More moon (3) )
Other than that, I am still shocked about the tragedy at the German school in Baden-Württemberg yesterday. Another school shooting, more cookie-cutter articles on it which read exactly like the ones from last time, covers full of crying teenage girls, speculations about shooters, Counter-Strike and porn and still no idea what to do to keep students from running amok in our schools. I doubt that any of the suggestions that have been made - psychologists at schools (didn't help Finland), metal detectors (didn't help the US), even stricter gun control (didn't help us)- is going to help.
What is so baffling that it is nearly funny is what is going on in the comment sections of major German papers - some blame the "injured pride of the German middle class male which does not commit honour crimes like lower class children with a background in migration, but run amok with guns". Another user "blames the miss-matched gender ratio in the German educational system", the "lack of role-models", and yet another user muses that it might be a good idea to force parents to notify the school if they have weapons so that those can have an eye on their kids, yet others want a nation-wide ban of Counter-Strike.
And I? I don't know. I really don't. It is horrible that so many students feel left out at our schools that some of them snap and shoot their teachers and fellow-students, and I think that if something has to change, it ought to be that before our gun laws become even stricter, or we implement a nationwide male quota in the educational system, and school psychologists can't hurt there.

( More moon (3) )
Other than that, I am still shocked about the tragedy at the German school in Baden-Württemberg yesterday. Another school shooting, more cookie-cutter articles on it which read exactly like the ones from last time, covers full of crying teenage girls, speculations about shooters, Counter-Strike and porn and still no idea what to do to keep students from running amok in our schools. I doubt that any of the suggestions that have been made - psychologists at schools (didn't help Finland), metal detectors (didn't help the US), even stricter gun control (didn't help us)- is going to help.
What is so baffling that it is nearly funny is what is going on in the comment sections of major German papers - some blame the "injured pride of the German middle class male which does not commit honour crimes like lower class children with a background in migration, but run amok with guns". Another user "blames the miss-matched gender ratio in the German educational system", the "lack of role-models", and yet another user muses that it might be a good idea to force parents to notify the school if they have weapons so that those can have an eye on their kids, yet others want a nation-wide ban of Counter-Strike.
And I? I don't know. I really don't. It is horrible that so many students feel left out at our schools that some of them snap and shoot their teachers and fellow-students, and I think that if something has to change, it ought to be that before our gun laws become even stricter, or we implement a nationwide male quota in the educational system, and school psychologists can't hurt there.
Palestrina
Tuesday, March 10th, 2009 07:35 pm... is my rockstar.
Even though Orlando di Lasso seems to be the superstar of early polyphony around here and get most of the credit because of his versatility (at least going by the curriculum of a course on the period offered in Crocky's uni a few semesters back), I prefer Palestrina's works at the moment, or at least what I know of it. Which is not much, just the Missa nigra sum, the Missa Sicut lilium inter spinas and the Missa benedicta es.
Other than that: these days, I often feel half of the brink of panic attacks that that never come. I hope it's because I am being a good girl, get enough sleep and drink and exercise (not enough of that, though, maybe), and not because I don't have the deadline for my thesis yet. Still. Excessive baking is hardly effective therapy for stress-relief (especially considering my weight-loss goals, damn you, cheesecake, be cursed, breakfast rolls), and stress relaxation methods won't help forever. I think I need to see someone here, I need some help with getting through my oral exams at the end of the year without blackouts. I heard that there are weekend courses for exam anxiety over here, I think I'll look into that.
Even though Orlando di Lasso seems to be the superstar of early polyphony around here and get most of the credit because of his versatility (at least going by the curriculum of a course on the period offered in Crocky's uni a few semesters back), I prefer Palestrina's works at the moment, or at least what I know of it. Which is not much, just the Missa nigra sum, the Missa Sicut lilium inter spinas and the Missa benedicta es.
Other than that: these days, I often feel half of the brink of panic attacks that that never come. I hope it's because I am being a good girl, get enough sleep and drink and exercise (not enough of that, though, maybe), and not because I don't have the deadline for my thesis yet. Still. Excessive baking is hardly effective therapy for stress-relief (especially considering my weight-loss goals, damn you, cheesecake, be cursed, breakfast rolls), and stress relaxation methods won't help forever. I think I need to see someone here, I need some help with getting through my oral exams at the end of the year without blackouts. I heard that there are weekend courses for exam anxiety over here, I think I'll look into that.